Ecology Blog

Just a thought: Quiet guys w/ great smiles can just knock you straight over. I've been noticing this lately. I'ven never been one of those girls who really likes shy guys, but I'm thinkin' I do like those quiet ones--sort of silent but deadly...they crack a half smile and you feel like the sun just got a little brighter. Crazy.

Yeah, so my accounting exam was yesterday. Before the exam Dustin and I went to the Parthenon on State for dinner for gyros, which were awesome. If we do well on the exam, we’ll have to make it a tradition or something. Maybe try somewhere else next time.

While we were at dinner we had an interesting conversation that I’ll comment on briefly here. Okay, so we talked about flirting…how obvious it is to other girls when girls flirt, how clueless guys are, and how guys flirt. We couldn’t really figure out how guys flirt. Which would make me want to say it’s more subtle than we give them credit for, but somehow I don’t think that’s it. Anyway, that wasn’t the interesting thing. We started talking about how we rank ourselves and other people. Like, at first I said that I rank other ppl but don’t put myself on that scale (the more arrogant was of saying that would be that I put myself way above, hehe…which I figured out isn’t true). Then we started talking about ppl who we feel like we’re wasting their time when we talk to them versus those that you almost feel like you’re doing a favor by talking to them. Arrogant, I know, but true. So what makes us snap judge those ppl who we feel are better than us as “better than us”? B/c it’s relatively automatic, I think. I don’t know…but it sucks. Because sometimes it’s the ppl you’d like to get to know the most that you’re the least confident to approach (and I’m not just talking about guys). Okay, I really should be listening in lecture right now.

Sina—if you’re reading this, I keep trying to call you, but it’s never at the right time (I started to call you once and realized it was probably about 3 am there…oops). Hopefully, I’ll be more successful this weekend!

Accounting

I've been studying accounting all day...craziness...the craziest thing is that I like it! Ahh, I know it's hard to imagine. And I love tests. Yeah, I'm a freak. Oh well...exam this evening at 7:15...dinner w/ Dustin on State before that...catching up on everything afterwards...maybe late nite at the NAT later? Yeah, so that was my very incoherent list of things I have to do.

Can't wait for the weekend!

Ruminations When I Should Be Studying

So, I was sitting in my favorite comfy chair in Ingram this morning drinking my coffee (so I as on the way to being human) and trying to ignore the Asian beetles that were falling off the window and onto my stuff, staring out the window and spacing out when I should have been studying for my Ecology test at 9:55. And I thought about this summer. And I wondered if certain people would pop into my head while I'm there like they do now. And what would I think about them? I don't know. I think there's a kind of regret there--for all the things you might have done but never didd...a poignant snes of opportunities missed and emotions lost to pride and fear and rational behavior. That sounds very dramatic, but do you know what I mean? When you're doing something and your mind is sort of drifting and you're being really still and suddenly something sort of sneaks up on you (mentally) and suddenly your chest feels a little tight and you feel a little short of breath...and there's this vague sense of regret for all the things you didn't do when you could have...for whatever reason. And it seems almost sad that more often than not the things you missed were the things you just didn't take the time for, or didn't choose to go after when you should have, or let self-doubt and fear stop you from doing. I don't know...I'm wearing my pajamas today and I didn't lift yesterday and I've got exams today and tomorrow and next week and suddenly all I want to do is get done w/ my discussion that starts in 20 minutes and run back to Bradley and shower and get out and move and smile and face the day and talk to people and chase down those things that would make me sad to realize I'd missed. Not sure what I'm going to do about that yet b/c I need to study accounting for the rest of the day.

Running Motivation

1) No one said it was going to be easy.

"Running is real and relatively simple - but it ain't easy." -Mark Will-Weber

2) It is going to take guts.

"Most people run a race to see who is fastest. I run a race to see who has the most guts." - Steve Prefontaine

) You have to be tough.

"Your toughness is made up of equal parts persistence and experience. You don't so much outrun your opponents as outlast and outsmart them, and the toughest opponent of all is the one inside your head." - Joe Henderson

4) Your biggest opponent is yourself.

"You don’t run against a bloody stop watch, do you hear? A runner runs against himself, against the best that’s in him. Not against a dead thing of wheels and pulleys. That’s the way to be great, running against yourself. Against all the rotten mess in the world. Against God, if you’re good enough." - Bill Persons

5) You have to learn to see the beauty in it.

"I always loved running...it was something you could do by yourself, and under your own power. You could go in any direction, fast or slow as you wanted, fighting the wind if you felt like it, seeking out new sights just on the strength of your feet and the courage of your lungs." - Jesse Owens

6) You have to be strong.

"Running is a big question mark that’s there each and every day. It asks you, ‘Are you going to be a wimp or are you going to be strong today?'" - Peter Maher

7) You have to give it your all.

"Those who say that I will lose and am finished will have to run over my body to beat me." - Said Aouita

8) You have to want it.

"A runners creed: I will win; if I cannot win, I shall be second; if I cannot be second, I shall be third; if I cannot place at all, I shall still do my best." - Ken Doherty

9) You are not alone.

"You have to wonder at times what you're doing out there. Over the years, I've given myself a thousand reasons to keep running, but it always comes back to where it started. It comes down to self-satisfaction and a sense of achievement." - Steve Prefontaine

10) You can do it.

"If one can stick to the training throughout the many long years, then will power is no longer a problem. It's raining? That doesn't matter. I am tired? That's besides the point. It's simply that I just have to." - Emil Zatopek

Yay for Bascom Hill

So I studied on Bascom Hill for a few hours today for Ecology...wonderfully productive...I love Spring!

Judging People

So...I was thinking about how crazy/emotional/hormonal/teenage-girl-esque ppl must think I am when they read this blog...especially if they don't know me. And then I was thinking about my blog title "Musings From An Emotional Mind" and how when I came up w/ that (2+ years ago) I thought it was kind of funny b/c I'm not an emotional person that much...I'm not all about drama (no really, I swear in real life I'm not). But the stuff I write on here is just sort of pouring out of my head w/o regard to audience or filtering mechanisms that would dictate normal behavior/conversation so it's as screwed up and emotional as I think everyone is in their head (or at least I hope they are...psychosis loves company or something like that). And I kind of think like "oh, no one will judge me based on what I write on here b/c they don't have that right...it's my stuff from my head and if they don't like it they can go jump off a cliff." Okay, well in reality you don't have to give anyone permission to judge you. And you don't need their permission to judge them. It's human nature to size ppl up...try to fit them in the appropriate boxes so you can relate to them in some sort of familiar way. Okay, I have no idea where that was going when it started...

Anyway, I'm thinking of changing the title of my blog. Suggestions are welcome.

Okay, off to study for my ecology exam tomorrow. Yeah, def. had my econ exam this morning and didn't have a clue on the first question (the defintions and examples of moral hazard and adverse selection)...I didn't study. So, I guessed (partially correctly, I think), but there goes 20 points if I got it all the way wrong. 20 points out of 100. Not a pretty place to start. On the upside, my appointment w/ my advisor went well and he was supportive of my attempting academic suicide (18 credits for the rest of my freakin' life) and put me in touch w/ two Accounting-specific people to consult. And it's gorgeous outside, so life seems totally manageable! If anyone wants to play volleyball sometime this week, come find me!

If the world were a logical place, men would ride side saddle. ~Rita Mae Brown

There are much easier things in life than finding a good man. Nailing Jell-O to a tree, for instance. ~Author Unknown

My boyfriend asked me why women think firemen are sexy, so I explained the pole theory: Men love women who slide down poles, and women love men who slide down poles. Subject dropped. ~Terri Guillemets

The old theory was "Marry an older man, because they're more mature." But the new theory is: "Men don't mature. Marry a younger one." ~Rita Rudner

"Boys frustrate me. I hate all their indirect messages, I hate game playing. Do you like me or don't you? Just tell me so I can get over you." -Kirsten Dunst quotes

You don’t come across that many people that give you butterflies, you just don’t.

A wise girl kisses but doesn't love, listens but doesn't believe and leaves before she is left.

I've just met you, but I've known you forever. You are the person I used to dream about and never thought I would find.

If he’s the first thing you think of when you wake up, the only thing you think of when you’re awake, and the last thing you think of before you go to bed, then he is really somebody special.

Some people believe that holding on and hanging in there, are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go – and then do it.

Try to follow your heart, and you'll lose your mind. Try to use your mind, and you'll break your heart...this is the nature of love.

Wait for the guy who will drop everything for you at any time of the day just to see you, whether it be the best or worst circumstances, wait for the guy that will make an ordinary moment seem magical, wait for the boy that you can't help but smile when you see him, and when he smiles you know he needs you, wait for the guy who will be your best friend, the one who wants to show you off to the world even in your sweats and with no makeup on just because…

Into the Twilight by Yeats
OUT-WORN heart, in a time out-worn,
Come clear of the nets of wrong and right;
Laugh, heart, again in the grey twilight,
Sigh, heart, again in the dew of the morn.
Your mother Eire is always young,
Dew ever shining and twilight grey;
Though hope fall from you and love decay,
Burning in fires of a slanderous tongue.
Come, heart, where hill is heaped upon hill:
For there the mystical brotherhood
Of sun and moon and hollow and wood
And river and stream work out their will;
And God stands winding His lonely horn,
And time and the world are ever in flight;
And love is less kind than the grey twilight,
And hope is less dear than the dew of the morn.

Studying all day at Steenbock.

Tempted to write a post right now, but that'd be self-defeating, now wouldn't it.

So, I'll just say this--Was there ever a time when guys didn't screw w/ your head? Not intentionally...I mean, when they just weren't a factor. 'Cause I don't remember it if there was. There's some country song about old men talking about the weather and old women talking about old men...don't remember the title...leave me a comment if you know it...anyway, I'm off to think about Econ instead of guys...exam tomorrow...