I will not die an unlived life I will not live in fear of falling Or of catching fire I choose to inhabit my days To allow my living to open me Making me less afraid More accessible To loosen my heart So that it becomes a wing, a torch, a promise I choose to risk my significance. To live so that that which comes to me as seed Goes to the next as blossom And that which comes to me as blossom Goes on as fruit. --Donna Markova

Saturday, February 14, 2004

Getting Back In There

Okay, so it's been forever since I blogged, or at least it feels that way. Over the last two weeks I would always have these thoughts like "man, i totally need to blog about that" and things like that and every time I would walk past the computer room and think "oh, i need to blog" but the longer I didn't do it the more it seemed like I was somehow "behind" in my blogging and that I couldn't just grab 10 minutes somewhere and fire off some random thoughts, I needed to take a lot of time and try to fill everyone in on my crazy life. Now, that is frankly just bizarre b/c why in the heck would I feel some kind of obligation to my blog? That's weird. This thing is here b/c I like to be random and I think better when I'm writing things down and I just like the concept in general, but it shouldn't be some sort of requirement for me. That's just wrong. I was thinking about this and realizing how true it is to almost everything in life though. We feel obligated somehow to our possessions a lot of the time. It's like, if we bought it now we somehow owe it something, like we're being wasteful if we don't get the intended use out of it, but how much more wasteful are we if we use something that was intended to be fun just b/c we feel obligated and we waste not only our time b/c we're not having fun but also negate the purpose of the action itself. Anyway, the ohter thing is that I think a lot of things are like this blog. I mean, it was sort of growing in my mind every time I though about it and every time I would think that I should do it until it was this huge looming thing. Bizarre. And now I need to go get a haircut and then go get Sina and then go get Peter and then go to Salgeas. I'll ttyl - Katie