Ruminations When I Should Be Studying

So, I was sitting in my favorite comfy chair in Ingram this morning drinking my coffee (so I as on the way to being human) and trying to ignore the Asian beetles that were falling off the window and onto my stuff, staring out the window and spacing out when I should have been studying for my Ecology test at 9:55. And I thought about this summer. And I wondered if certain people would pop into my head while I'm there like they do now. And what would I think about them? I don't know. I think there's a kind of regret there--for all the things you might have done but never didd...a poignant snes of opportunities missed and emotions lost to pride and fear and rational behavior. That sounds very dramatic, but do you know what I mean? When you're doing something and your mind is sort of drifting and you're being really still and suddenly something sort of sneaks up on you (mentally) and suddenly your chest feels a little tight and you feel a little short of breath...and there's this vague sense of regret for all the things you didn't do when you could have...for whatever reason. And it seems almost sad that more often than not the things you missed were the things you just didn't take the time for, or didn't choose to go after when you should have, or let self-doubt and fear stop you from doing. I don't know...I'm wearing my pajamas today and I didn't lift yesterday and I've got exams today and tomorrow and next week and suddenly all I want to do is get done w/ my discussion that starts in 20 minutes and run back to Bradley and shower and get out and move and smile and face the day and talk to people and chase down those things that would make me sad to realize I'd missed. Not sure what I'm going to do about that yet b/c I need to study accounting for the rest of the day.