I will not die an unlived life I will not live in fear of falling Or of catching fire I choose to inhabit my days To allow my living to open me Making me less afraid More accessible To loosen my heart So that it becomes a wing, a torch, a promise I choose to risk my significance. To live so that that which comes to me as seed Goes to the next as blossom And that which comes to me as blossom Goes on as fruit. --Donna Markova

Thursday, September 18, 2003

Slackerdom Reigns

Okay, I think my senior slide started sometime during fourth term...last year. Remember all that homework I was telling you about...yeah, well, I didn't get any of that done last night. Now I have to do it all tonight and, surprise surprise, it sucks just as bad tonight! I'm in Economics right now, but that's too boring to pay attention too so i'm blogging. I'm going to Caribou after school today, hoping that being out of my house will force me to get some much needed work done. I'm insanely jealous of Paul's seeming lack of procrastination. Sarah, you have to tell me how you're doing w/ hmwk and stuff... we always seem to focus on guys, but that isn't really a problem, right?

Bored to death! yeah, so anyway...I gtg do all that really stupid hmwk junk after the bell rings here in a few minutes.

Jason showed me this online fake stock trading thing and I'm going to play w/ it tonight or tomorrow if I ever emerge from behind my stack of homework...gee thanks jason, like I really need another distraction.

Wednesday, September 17, 2003

And as they left the Garden of Eden, that evil snake slithered at their heels hissing evilly...hhhhoommeewwoorrkk

Yeah, so life sucks and then you die...live w/ it. No, J/K. Life's fine...busy, but fine. Not really busy I guess. I'm really procrastinating right now and doing anything and everything besides my homework...which I have tons of because I really haven't done any of it since the beginning of the school year and our first round of tests are coming up so I have all this reading to catch up w/ that is really slow and boring and generally depressing. Ah well, the only thing that makes homework bearable is really good music, so I'll be listening to the latest Liz Phair CD. I never listened to her before, but I really like this CD. There are one or two songs that are a little explicit, but most of them rock.

Off to study the fall of the Italian Renaissance and why all those nice little Pope guys were always poisoning one another...not to mention the reasons the US should switch to a runoff system instead of an electoral one, why the economy should always try to operate at the point where the marginal benefits of producing a product and the marginal costs are equal, and what literary devices are utilized in five different poems...all in a days, afternoons, nights, and mornings work, I'm thinking...Later all, Katie

Monday, September 15, 2003

And Once Again The World Turns

I should really be sleeping right now...I've been really tired lately, but I'm in that place that you hit sometime right before you crash and I'm feeling benevolent. Notice, I didn't say introspective. You're thinking, benevolent? that's gotta be the wrong word, right? Nope, I have this crazy feeling of good will towards the world.

I feel like it's okay not to be in control of my life. I don't have to plan and schedule every waking moment to somehow fill my schedule up so much that disappointments and the normale, everyday catastrophies of the human condition can't sneak their way into my plans. I don't know if it's just my mood, but I'm really okay w/ the place I'm in right now as far as taking what life throws my way and seeing my way through it w/o major problems.

My schedule is really easy right now. Gov, Eng, AP Euro, and AP Micro. I'm actually getting more done on my novel during AP Micro than I do at home...I'm thinking that if I finish it this year because I had that class, I might have to include Mr. Eisenreich in my dedication for teaching a class wehre I don't really have to learn anything...imagine all the fun ways you could word that one, lol.

Saturday night was homecoming. I didn't go, but I went out w/ 11 of my friends to Chino Latino in Uptown and then we all went back to my house and hung out till late. It was fun...I was struck again by how much I just like being w/ ppl. The social aspect of human nature is huge.

Speaking of human nature. Machiavelli. We're talking about him in Gov. and Euro. and frankly, I can't figure out what is so wrong w/ the guy. I think his ideas are out there, but not as far our there as everyone says. I can see how they'd be dangerous if put into practice, but I don't honestly see him as this fascist threat whose ideas turn good men bad and corrupt the innocent, which was my genereal perception of him before I knew anything about his theories.

I can't remember if I already talked about boxing but I'll talk about it again anyway because I can't wait! My intro lesson is going to be either this Wed or next Wed at Uppercut boxing in the Minneapolis, which is supposed to be really neat. I am determined to be terribly good at it, so watch out!

I'm getting a little excited for Youth Alpha. Don't know why, I just am. I love being w/ ppl and it's another chance to do that. We went to the Upper Room service on Sun night w/ XRoads and it totally rocked. I really want to go again. I think Danielle has it scheduled for like once a month, but I may have to skip one XRoads a month and go because it was that good. The singing is unbelievable and there is such a sense of pure, undiluted, unpretentious worship...it blows the mind and calls to the spirit. I think I might want to go by myself some time because, believe it or not, I didn't feel as comfortable w/ my group of ppl who were there as I would have w/ all those strangers. I was feeling very demonstrative and I held back a little because everyone from our church was being more reserved than a lot of ppl around us. I wanted to throw my hands up and dance around, and I think I might next time =)

All for now, bed is calling, Katie