The Chaos Theory

I believe in chaos. Why would people want their lives to be a constant continuation of some endless routine? Who really wants to be able to say, "I'm always in control of my life. I know exactly what I'll be doing when. I have it all figured out."? Not me.

Right now I'm letting everything slide and waiting for the chaos to strike. Oh well. I'm really excited about tomorrow b/c we're starting a new bible study at Dunn Bros and it will be interesting to see how the dynamic w/in the group will develop. Last year when Paul and Jake and I started the bible study it turned out really differently than I had pictured but I loved it even more I think. B/c it feels like things are kind of shifting in that general sector I'm betting this years group/dynamic will be a surprise too but hopefully no less dear.

I think people are really really really different. I was talking to Sina tonight when we were taking Alexey to McD's and we were talking about being right. We, being greens, always think we're right. I can accept when ppl disagree w/ me. But I'd never thought about how other ppl must feel--the ones who don't always think they're right. I think it must be a different kind of insecurity. I mean, there are a few ppl that I feel like I might not always be right when I'm talking to, but in general I feel like I'm either right or at least what I was arguin made sense so it doesn't matter if it's not specifically right. What must it be like to think that other people must be right and you're wrong? I don't know. I mean, back to the whole insecurity thing. I'm insecure about my acne and my weight. Those are insecurities that I've always had and will probably always have. I know that insecurities can effect everything from who you hang out with to who you are, but I never conscidered before that people are insecure about their very thoughts before. I don't know where I'm going w/ this, but it seemed interesting when we were discussing it.

I think maybe I'm bipolar or something b/c I'm just randomly happy, excited, amused. It's definitely fun, but you have to wonder if there's some kind of chemical imbalance involved there! Lol, ttyl all...I'm actually going to work on my book! Go me! - Katie