The day goes off like a rifle

Sitting here, thinking. Wish I were somewhere else. More than that I wish I didn't wish I were somewhere else. I wish I could enjoy my last few weeks here. I wish I had afforded myself the luxury of using them to get my head on straight and my life in order. In some ways, this is a huge opportunity. It's like the first day of Freshman year all over again--everyone thinks it's a big deal and they're wrong. It isn't a chance for a new beginning with the world, but it is a chance for a new beginning with yourself. I think people block themselves in. We oversimplify in a way that complicates things. We make the world and it's opinion so important we put our own opinions of ourselves on the back burner until we wake up one day and sense this opporutnity to rectify a wrong you've been doing to yourself without ever really acknowledging it. I'm not the same person in my head as I am in real life. I know that in an academic kind of way, but I feel like I am that person...in my head...why should me head change and not the rest of me. Oh well, I'm a procrastinator and that's screwing things up. Yeah, that's easy to say. What I should say is...Oh well, I'm being lazy and I'm screwing things up. That's what the person in my head would say to herself. Don't believe the bullshit you tell yourself. If someone's opinion matters...make it someone who matters...like yourself.
 
"Don't put much faith in winners
They're liars through and through
Winners play the angles
They'll swear they never lose"