Thanksgiving Thoughts

Okay, first off...thanksgiving has never been my holiday. Don't know why, but it just hasn't. It always feels strange to me. After all, it isn't really about giving thanks to God for the amazing things we have so much as trying to fix all the food and stressing out over dishes or trying to tolerate some relatives crass comments (guys, you have no idea how "diverse" my family!). I don't feel more thankful on Thanksgiving than on any other day of the year. I do feel like I've overindulged, which isn't pleasant, but I actually didn't eat all that much this year b/c I was totally not into it so I don't feel all gross or anything. Anyway, just a thought.

I've been sort of slacking on my blog here b/c a few weeks ago I started a new journal that I've been writing in a lot and I just feel repetative when I write all this junk down twice. This is so much faster and easier to do, though, so I think I'll probably be blogging more than journaling over the next while. Maybe I'll print my blogs and put them into a binder or something. I don't know. There are definitely things that I would not blog about, but that are seriously important to life at the moment so I'd just have to write those in.

Anyway, I'm in a writing mood so this may get a little long. I'm going to run and grab my Bible in a sec and just see what speaks to me. I'm going through a semi-strange period in my faith. Strange mainly b/c of what is driving it. I've been struggling a lot lately w/ my faith in that I am perfectly comfortable where I am. I've been so blessed in my life that it's such a huge temptation to let material things and superficial relationships fill up my time. I've sort of benched God (gosh, can you tell I was force to watch both the Packers v. Lions and Miami v. Dallas football games today?!). I know God and Jesus and I absolutely believe in them and their power for change and good. I believe that God is in control. But, I find myself unwilling to give up my comfortable position, both mentally and physically, and lay my life before Christ to be used as he wishes it to be. What do I do if God's plan isn't my plan? What if he wants me to go to the U of M instead of Madison? It's easier just not to ask. It's like doing something that isn't necessarily wrong, but that might now be what your parents would want you to do and getting away with it b/c you pretend that you didn't realize that you should have asked their imput first. Anyway, that's where I've been for almost a year now.

Here's the strange part. Most of the shifts in my faith have been slow and imperceptible over time or sort of flashes in a pan, so to speak. For example, the mission trips that I've gone on have always enriched my relationship w/ Christ, but I usually let that feeling slip away too quickly. Right now, I can feel my perspective changing and this is the first time I've really had control over whether I ignore this nudging I'm getting from God, or follow it. My friend Kyle is going through some stuff w/ his faith and his friends. I really don't know what's going on b/c we're not close like that. I mean, love him to death, but it's not like we call each other and talk about the mundane things that make up a really close friendship, but he's a good kid. Well, anyway, he's been posting scripture on his IM profile and talking about having Christian friends and it's just sort of chipping away at me.

As you all probably have discerned, I'm a relatively arrogant person. Another something I should work on, but that's not the topic at hand. I always kind of see myself as okay as a Christian b/c I'm ahead of most ppl my age. Since I was a kid, some adults and some of my peers have been under the mistaken impression that I've got this faith thing pretty well together. That goes to your head. I figrure that as long as I'm perceived as more of a follower of Christ than others, then I must be. And that as long as I'm ahead, I'm on the right track. That's not really true, I know, but it's comfortable. Let face it...when you're out in the world, you're not exactly bombarded w/ Christian messages. (Note to self: my next tirade will be on our morally bankrupt society...tune in next week...) Then I'll sign on to IM and read Kyles profile or talk to him at church or whatever and I'm just sort of confronted w/ scripture and I have this guilty little flash in my mind like "gee, I haven't read my Bible in a while"...except, lately it's been more like "gee, where the heck is my Bible? I haven't really gotten it out since our Small Group stopped meeting!" So, anyway, I think it's cool that Kyle is trying to set some sort of example for his friends or get them to think about Christ or something (again, I don't know the situation there really) and it's having this unintended side effect. I think that's a pretty good illustration of how things work a lot in life. There's a quote somewhere that goes something like, "Never frown--you never know when someone is falling in love with your smile." I think Christianity works a little like that. Not that you shoudl pretend everything is great when it isn't--that's just hypocrisy, but that you never know when you're having an influence on someones life or how big your influence can be.

So, I finally went and grabbed my Bible. I've already "talked" for too long, so I'll just look for a sec here and leave you w/ a verse. Cross your fingers and pray for divine inspiration here (j/k)...lets see.
"Help, Lord, for the godly are no more;
the faithful have vanished from among men.
Everyone lies to his neighbor;
their flattering lips speak with deception.
May the Lord cut off all flattering lips
and eveery boastful tongue
that says, "We will triumph with our tongues;
we own our lips--who is our master?"
"Because of the oppression of the weak
and the groaning of the needy,
I will now arise," says the Lord.
"I will protect them from those who malign them."
And the words of the lord are flawless,
like silver refined in a furnace of clay,
purified seven times.
O Lord, you will keep us safe
and protect us from people forever.
The wicked freely strut about
when what is vile is honored among men."
-Psalm 12

That's all for now, Love in Christ, Have a Great Day, and Don't Forget to SMILE! ~Katie