A Little of This, A Lot of That

Well east coast girls are hip
I really dig those styles they wear
And the southern girls with the way they talk
They knock me out when I’m down there

The mid-west farmer’s daughters really make you feel alright
And the northern girls with the way they kiss
They keep their boyfriends warm at night
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I like music that’s loud and lights down low

I like drivin’ my car too fast and dancin’ slow

Some folks may same I’m too extreme

‘Cause I can’t stop once I start

But I never could do anything

With half my heart
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You say you love me, but you don’t know who I am
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Okay, enough w/ the songs stuck in my head. I am once again trapped in my ecology class for the next 45 minutes or so (listening to my prof. talk about deforestation in Brazil…you have to clear ½ ton of forest to make one hamburger…this will def. not be on the test).

So…who is more important, the guy in your head or the guy in your life? I realized today that everyone has a guy in their head (or girl as the case may be…although I’m not sure about that…guys, let me know). I mean, who are you thinking about when you hear sappy song lyrics? Assuming you have no significant other at the moment, you still picture/feel someone there in your head when you hear lyrics like “Somebody knows you now.” I’d actually propose that the guy in your head might be more important in the long term than the guy in your life. At least until you meet the guy in your life that will replace the on in your head. And I’m not sure that even happens.

The guy in your head is great. He understands you, makes you feel safe, always says the right thing, knows that you can be independent and still love it when he opens the door, or especially when he puts his hand on the small of your back when you’re walking through a door together. He listens to the boring details of your life, loves the things about you that cross that line from quirky into weird, is romantic and spontaneous while being independent and masculine. Bottom line—no guy could ever live up to the guy in your head. But the guy in your head is also boring, unrealistic, and would probably annoy the hell out of you if he actually existed. He’d be WAY too attentive, high-maintenance, jealous (b/c admit it…you want your guy to be jealous sometimes, but just enough to make you feel special…like he knows you’re so great that other guys should want what he has, but also trusts you enough to know it won’t matter what other guys want). I guess the most important thing would be that he would be boring. He’s a compilation of what you like in guys you’ve met, guys you’ve read about, and guys you’ve seen in movies. By adding together all the great things in these guys, you edit out all the originality in them. W/o flaws people are pretty boring. Part of the appeal of the guy in your head is as what I’ve been calling the “closet boyfriend.” As in…I’m too busy for a real boyfriend, but sometimes you just wish you had one in the closet so you could pull him out when you need a hug, had a sucky day, want to be with someone who engages you on that level, or just feel like being stupid and running around outside in the snow with someone handsome and funny and male.

So…the guy in your life. Let’s start out by clarifying something here—the guy in your head can never be better than the guy in your life. Even if the guy in your life is mediocre and you know he could never be “the one,” he’s real, he’s there, and he’s automatically better. That said, he’s probably less important than the guy in your head. The guy in your head will never leave you, will never hurt you, and may be the single factor in keeping you interested in men even when you run into a string of crappy guys (I know, you’re saying…nope, she got that wrong—hormones keep you interested in guys…true, but I think the guy in your head is the product of hormones to a large degree). The guy in your head is almost a part of your personality b/c he affects the way you act. When the guy in your life does something particularly great that the guy in your would do, you smile a little more b/c he did it. But the guy in your life is so much better b/c he’s not perfect. He’ll make you mad and let you down and probably hurt you at some point or another. But, unlike the guy in your head, he’ll surprise you and make you laugh and maybe love you if you’re lucky. When you meet a guy that outshines the guy in your head, you’ve found something special. Not necessarily “the one” but a special kind of guy. Ladies…you know the guys I’m talking about…you probably can think back and at least two, hopefully more guys pop into your head that make you smile just thinking about them. Partly b/c of who they were, but mainly b/c of how they made you feel… The guy in your head will never give you that.

So…where am I going w/ all of this? Per the usual, I have absolutely no clue. I’d say…bottom line…value the guy in your life if you have one and be thankful for the guy in your head who keeps you sane.

Okay, on to less sappy topics. My wonderfully exciting plans for the weekend. Or lack thereof. My roomie is heading home for the weekend so I get the room to myself…always a good time (by a good time I mean I sleep very strange hours and study in strange patterns.) Ah…that’s the bell…more later on the wonders of my weekend…line dancing, that’s all I’ve got to say

Okay…now I’m in Brit. History. Not sure if this’ll work, but I might try blogging in here too. I feel a little disrespectful, but at the same time, I’m not missing much. He talks about tons of things, but the test is all essays and IDs, which shouldn’t be problematic. So, back to the fascinating subject of my weekend plans. Tonight my roomie leaves at 2:30 or something so after that I have the room to myself and no official plans. I heard there’s going to be a third-floor den movie-marathon of some sort, but I’m not sure who’s going or if I will. I might end up in my room doing hmwk and watching movies. Sounds boring, but it’d be really relaxing after this strange week. Then tomorrow I have fun plans—dinner w/ ppl and line dancing from 7 to 10. Yah…I’m so mad my cowboy hat isn’t here. Not sure what I’ll wear for that either, but it’ll be a blast I’m sure. Then, Sunday I’m doing hmwk, the Nat per the usual, and going to Verspers at night (6 pm) or maybe church in the morning so I’ll have the night free. Who knows yet? Maybe bowling…anyone want to go on Sunday afternoon at some point? There’s open bowling from noonish to sixish. See me if interested.

So…I missed Sina’s birthday this year and I just realized it. I’m a bad person b/c it was a LONG time ago…again, I’m a bad person. So…I just figured out what I’m going to make her, but I’m not sure how I’ll do it. If anyone knows something about recording equipment on computers or has a microphone, find me and I’ll love you forever.

"The heights by great men reached and kept
Were not attained by sudden flight,
But they, while their companions slept,
Were toiling upward in the night."
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

"We perceive when love begins and when it declines by our embarrassment when alone together."
-La Bruyere

"A kiss can be a comma, a question mark or an exclamation point. That's basic punctuation that every woman ought to know."
-Mistinguette

Grown-ups love figures. When you tell them that you have made a new friend, they never ask you any questions about essential matters. They never say to you, “What does his voice sound like? What games does he love best? Does he collect butterflies?" Instead, they demand: "How old is he? How many brothers has he? How much does he weigh? How much money does his father make?" Only from these figures do they think they have learned anything about him. ~Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince, 1943, translated from French

All for now, Katie