Ecology / Brit History Blog 2

I'd like to preface this all by saying one thing very clearly: I do have a life. Seriously guys...despite the appearance that I sit in my room crooning lovingly to my computer and talking to people who aren't really there, as indicated by my recent increase in blogging entries. I just have really boring classes during which I happen to have my computer and this is better than doing crosswords or trying to play solitaire w/o the TA noticing.

Music of the moment: High Lonesome by Judd Hughes (that’s a guest on the artist—look it up if you care)

Topics for today’s ecology lecture boredom: Workout motivation, Pushing limits, Relationships w/ guys (not mine, I swear!—just a general topic that seems to come up w/ the advent of spring and swimsuit season)

Workout motivation

So I’ve become what my dad refers to as a “gym rat” lately. It’s actually amazing to me too…I started going about three weeks ago—sparked off by the beginning of lent. I’ve had to mess around w/ my routine a little—first I was doing too much cardio so I was tired all the time, now I’m doing very little cardio, strength training every other day, and interval training every day. I absolutely love it. I’m seeing much better results w/ lifting and interval training (which takes much less time than an hour and a half of cardio every day) than I was w/ straight cardio. And I’m not bored to tears all the time b/c everything is based on numbers instead of time (although interval training is technically based on time, I focus on getting in as many reps as I can in two time blocks—like 8 sets of stairs in 10 minutes [right now I’m at 7]). When you lift, you’re not making yourself keep doing it for 10 million minutes—you’re making yourself crank out 12 more reps. Bottom line—there’s no way to approach it but 1 rep at a time. When you’re doing stairs, you don’t think “I have to do 6 more sets of this” you just don’t let yourself stop—as soon as you start up those stairs one more time, you’ve succeeded in that rep as long as you hang on and push yourself and don’t think about the next one. Then when you get to the bottom again, turn around and start back up before you let yourself think about it and MAGIC, you’ve succeeded again—you’re a machine!

So…most of you know me (or you have some kind of sickness that makes you read this blog which has to be about the most boring thing in the world if you don’t know me—and frequently even if you do). Knowing me, most of you probably can’t picture me being anything anyone would call a “gym rat.” I’ve always had trouble motivating myself to workout. I think a large part of getting motivated now is the lack of TV. When I started lent I wasn’t watching any TV except for West Wing, Lost, and the O.C.—no more Law and Order in the middle of the day. I slipped a little last week, but I’m trying to get back to that b/c I see my productivity slipping when I let myself get sucked into the TV. Anyway, I was going to the gym when I didn’t want to do my hmwk instead of watching
TV when I wanted to kill time. And suddenly it’s become both a habit and a priority for me. I really enjoy the time I have at the gym. There’s something about the way you think (or don’t) when you’re focused on making your body work hard. You’re thinking about your form, what weight you’re lifting, what your next exercise is, your breathing, controlling your movements, and feeling how lifting is making your muscles and body feel. When you think about it, it’s a very sensuous thing—you’re focusing on every sensation in your body. You’re not thinking externally. Working out is a reward in itself. I like seeing the new confidence I’m getting every time I go the gym and don’t have to worry about my form or get to increase the amount of weight I’m lifting or can feel a set getting easier to do—like my body is becoming more efficient. Same goes for my interval training—I run the stairs next to Ingram (or the ones in Bradley if it’s snowy/icy outside, but it’s a poor substitute) or do sprints on the lakeshore path by the bridge. These places have the added benefit of having the occasional person walking/jogging by that makes you evaluate your form and speed—usually making you push yourself harder for the rep. In just a week I’ve gone from feeling like I got hit by a train when I finish the Ingram stairs to feeling like I could do a few more reps. That amazes me.

I was talking to one of my friends who started working out recently also. We were talking about how it’s getting easier and easier to eat healthily and in moderation now that we’re working out. (It wasn’t easy the first two weeks, believe me. I definitely felt my body freaking out and having crazy cravings, but I think a lot of that was mental b/c I was focusing a lot on what I shouldn’t eat instead of what I should). That makes me wonder how much of our cravings for bad foods—chocolate, ice cream, donuts, anything deep-friend—is based on the actual taste of the foods and how much of it is mental. I don’t feel like I can’t eat these things, but I don’t make a habit of eating them anymore—and when I do I eat them in moderation. But I haven’t had this urge to eat large quantities of them or anything lately, which I used to have. You know when you eat one donut and you want to eat four more? I don’t know—suddenly the attractions is pretty much gone. It’s like I know what it’s costing me to eat things that don’t really give me more enjoyment than other things (carrots, grapefruit, oranges, apples, pineapple…etc.). My friend quoted someone and said it all came down to—Being thin FEELS better than anything TASTES.

Now, there’s really not a point to this post, but the usual point to my blogs—to get thoughts out of my head so I can stop thinking them. A cautionary note too—we tend to think in our society that ppl who talk about working out and eating healthily and wanting to change their body to be the best it can be might be anorexic or bulimic or working out too much and starving themselves or something. I word: relax. So, I don’t expect to get several emails trying to get me to admit that I’m secretly living on carrots and water and running nine hours a day while picturing Kate Moss in my head as motivation. Not the way this is working. Just enjoying getting back in touch w/ a fitter side of myself.

Bottom line: I think motivation can be broken down into two parts: Stating something and not quitting. I didn’t say “sticking w/ it” b/c that’s not the point—it really is just refusing to stop. Sticking w/ it implies this forward momentum w/ long-term goals incorporated into it, but not quitting is just putting one foot in front of the other.

Side note—how is it that if we mention working out and eating healthy ppl think anorexia/bulimia/insecurity/problems, but if we spend nine million hours a day talking about boys that’s perfectly normal? That’s messed up.

Here’s a short one: Pushing your limits—this is a spinoff of one of my thoughts on motivation. Basically, when I get to the bottom of Ingram hill, I ask myself “Could I do one more?” And the answer is usually yes. Pushing your limits is when you want to say no b/c it’d be the easy thing, but you say yes b/c you know you can do it. Let’s briefly extrapolate that to other areas of life. When have you ever actually run into your limits? Take academics…when have you ever run into the limits of your own mind? I’d bet never. You may have run into the limits of your time, motivation, teacher’s ability to teach the material, but those are all things that can be changed. When have you ever run into a wall in your mind that wouldn’t let you work harder, learn more, or push yourself further?

So, I was going to talk about boys, but I’ve run out of time so you’re all spared. Unless I find some time later. Like in British History next hour when he’s talking about increasing fertility among women in 18^th century England…and we care because?

Yeah—so I’m in Brit History now and it’s as boring as predicted so far. Social implications—200 eyes glaze over. We’re talking about the uses of Indian calicoes—dresses, stocking, undergarments (ooh, scandalous).

So…an eclectic group of thoughts that have to do w/ relationships/guys:

First: I found a quote the other day, which I’m going to bastardize here in trying to recall it accurately, but it went something like this: “Men watch women. Women watch themselves being watched. This determines not only the nature of the relationships between men and women, but also the relationships between women and women.” I think there’s some truth in that. But I think it underestimates guys’ insecurities—they want to know when they’re being watched too. And girls aren’t so shallow as to only be watching guys to see how they’re reacting to how them look/act. I think we’re always monitoring one another. Anyway…

Second: Speaking of watching one another…what is up w/ girls and guys judging each other unequally…the bottom line is trust. So…I was talking to a girl friend the other day and said something along the lines of—“I met this guy. He was really cute—you know that “great eyes, great smile” kind of cute? And good jeans…mmm.” Well, my girl friend knew exactly what I was talking about, but my guy friend who was there w/ outraged. He started talking about how girls just judge guys by the way the look. That that’s all they care about. That personality should matter more and we’re somehow exceedingly shallow and wrong. Okay…shallow has a negative connotation to it, but I think we often call things shallow that are really just normal. When you meet someone of the opposite sex your radar goes up…basically, you check them out, right? And if you like what you see, you try to get to know them. And if you like their personality you like them. Okay, so guys who don’t set off sparks w/ you right away can set off sparks w/ you when you get to know how great their personalities are too. But…there’s this whole other set of social interactions where you see a guy and you’re never going to get to know him. So, are you supposed to not appreciate the fact that he looks really good? Anyway…I don’t think that it is wrong for girls to check out guys they meet. And I don’t think it’s shallow unless that’s their only input in judging who that person is. However, I realize the bias girls have against guys who do the same thing. I admit it—when I’m w/ my guy friends and they start talking about how hot some girl is…something fundamental in me doesn’t like it. Maybe it’s some overt kind of jealousy (not romantic, but maybe over guy friends?). But I think it’s probably more an issue of trust. Girls trust themselves not to act on the fact that they’ve seen a really hot guy if they already have a guy they’re involved w/. However, we don’t trust guys to be able to control themselves in the same way. Which to some extent is probably right (sorry, guys)…psychology has indicated that guys generally separate love and sex in their minds to a much greater extent than girls do. So when a girl looks at a guy and makes that “yumm” sound b/c he’s got great jeans, she’s not usually thinking about doing anything about it unless she doesn’t have a significant other. I don’t know that it’s that easy for guys to look w/o thinking about acting. I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt b/c…I could have no way of knowing how hard it is to be a guy w/ the hormones that are involved—that would suck! So…bottom line…guys shouldn’t think girls are trashy or shallow b/c they appreciate other guys, and girls should give the guys the benefit of the doubt when they talk about Angelina Jolie—or on a more threatening note, the girl who lives down the hall from them.

Third: Speaking of watching yourself being watched…So this is definitely true—and it can be seen in a lot of the things that we think of as “romantic”—really they’re just positive indications of being watched, which I’ll extrapolate to include being thought about. For example, when a guy calls you…you think he’s been thinking about you (and he probably has). When he talks to his friends about you. When he writes you a note. These are basic—communication. Okay, so there are sort of two other categories that I can think of that are linked to this watching/being thought of. The first is literally being watched—when you look over and he’s looking at you—yeah, that’s a good feeling. Or when you look over and smile into a guys eyes—that’s sexy, no other way around it. Okay, the third category—touching. Get your mind out of the gutter…I don’t mean groping. The little things—holding hands, putting his hand on the small of your back while going through a door, touching your hair, wrestling, whatever—I think part of the significance is that he was thinking about you. Of course, that could be my closet romantic and he’s probably thinking about the Illinois basketball game.

Fourth: The “waiting by the phone” syndrome—do guys suffer from this? I think this is aggravated/a result of overanalysis. How is that when you talk to someone you think one thing? You get a good feeling from them, whatever. Then when you don’t talk to them (more accurately, they don’t talk to you…call you…whatever)…your impression of the situation completely changes, you freak out, and you decide it isn’t worth it. Meanwhile, the other person is clueless. I mean, let’s give a hand to human nature—way to complicate your own life.

Fifth: Speaking of waiting by the phone…gender roles in relationships—friendship and dating. Ah…out of time…you’re sad, I can tell.