A 1 a.m. post--the best kind *grin*

Hmm...deep thoughts tonight. I'm a little tired of over-analyzing things. Even more tired of getting myself involved in things that I end up having to over-analyze. I just realized tonight that we only have two months or so before the end of our first year of college. Then it's off to Colorado for three months. Then home for three weeks. Then off to England for 2.5 months after that. Then back here next Spring. My schedule for coourses is a little crazy and I have a feeling it may entail summer school next summer...which could be cool b/c I'd be able to go home for a few weeks before coming back for my summer classes I believe. I don't know what has been wrong w/ me this week--some kind of reversion to high school-esque behavior or something. Lets list the ways I've been counter-productive this week...then I'll try to stop talking about them.

First: I haven't done any homework this week...or for the last few weeks in general. Now I have tons of stuff to do to just catch up before my second round of tests, which is right after spring break. Guess what my break plans are.

Second: I asked this guy out. Then I let asking him out go from being a casual thing to a weird/overly-scheduled/way-too-official thing. Then I overanalyzed that (b/c our schedules didn't work and I thought maybe he didn't want to do anything). Then I cleared that up w/ him the other night. Then I overanalyzed that (our schedules still don't work, he has never initiated a conversation w/ me [not necessarily his fault...just a thing that I overanalyzed--which is lame anyway b/c we talk on IM, which has a whole different set of issues of its own], and he totally only talked to our mutual guy friend when we ran into him (literally) tonight--not that I know what he should have said--again, just another thing I overanalyzed). And tonight reality intruded and I realized that, while I might have time for a casual dating-friend-guy-experiment (I def. don't have time for more than that), I don't have time to go chasing after a guy if he isn't interested. Bottom line: I don't have the time/energy/patience/courage to always be the one making a move. Kind of wish I hadn't asked him out now b/c then we could be friends w/o having to go through the whole awkward phase that we'll have to go through now. That is if we even end up friends which is semi-doubtful b/c, while he didn't seem like the kind of guy who does the whole immature weirded-out-by-being-friends-with-girls-who've-thought-I-was-cute thing, maybe he is and I never see him anyway. Okay, I'm getting off track. Let's try this bottom line thing again. Bottom line: I think he's great. The things he says surprise me and that's interesting. BUT I don't have time/mental-inclination to chase after him if he doesn't want to do anything. AND our schedules apparently don't work together anyway. SO I'm going to wait and see what he does. I'll prob. talk to him on IM, but if it feels like I'm bothering him, I'll prob. let the whole thing die a quiet death. Too bad. You know how your memory of a person fades after you haven't seen them in awhile? Well, I can't really remember how he was, but I remember him being interesting and easy to talk to. Characters that aren't as common among guys as you'd think. As you can see from this excessively long section of this post--I've analyzed this to death. It's not fun overanalyzing things and I should stop. So...unless something else actually happens (as opposed to me thinking about something actually happening), I'm done talking about him.

Back to the list of my screwups for the week...

Third: I let myself get distracted from my life by everything going on around me. Not other ppl--that's okay to get caught up in...no one should be so focused on themselves that they lose sight of those around them--but in things: TV, IM, blogging, email...trash that I need to get rid of!

Well, there are more, but I'm getting tired now...and listing my screwups isn't the most uplifting of exercises. So I'm off to bed.

My conclusion: Time to stop overanalyzing things. In fact...I'm going to try underanalyzing things and see how that works out.