Personal Volatility

People talk so much about finding themselves and knowing who you are and being comfortable with your personality. But who are you really? What does it matter if you know who you are, but who you are changes depending on who you're with? Okay, I know what you're thinking. You should be able to be yourself no matter who you're with. Sorry, I don't work that way. I know who I am, maybe for the first time in two years, but what goes does that do me? I still act differently...say things I would never even think of saying when I'm alone...when I'm with certain ppl.

I am...mature, easily amused, sarcastic, ultimately idealistic, talkative (okay, maybe more than talkative, lets try...hard to shut up), and so much more (yeah, arrogant, too). But when I'm around certain ppl I act completely out of character, like somehow my brain is being bypassed. It's frustrating and it gives the ppl I react to like that way to much control over my mood. I always end up feeling terrible after talking to them because I've acted so stupid or whatever...frankly, it's destructive and I'm not sure what to do about it because the ppl that mess me up are ppl I like being with a lot.

Well, If life were perfect, it'd be boring anyway...I'm happy in spight of my angst, which is miniscule to some of the junk that's been running around my head lately.

Take care all, -Katie