Two For The Price Of One

Okay, I'm going to write about two completely different and not at all related topics today, so bear with me.

I went to a funeral last night. It's only the second of third one I've ever been to before and the first one where the person who'd passed away wasn't a member of my family. Maybe that made me more objective or something, but the whole experience just struck me as surreal. I was picturing ppl dressed in black, being very quiet and somber and respectful, a pastor speaking a few words, lots of moving stories about how much we'll miss the man who passed away, and lots of crying relatives. This particular funeral was a celebration service of the life of the man who passed away, but I don't think that accounts for the difference in my expectation and the reality. Okay, so what was the reality? People were dressed conservatively, but not necessarily in dark colors. I didn't see any red, but most other colors were represented. I thought everyone would be quiet and subdued and share a kind of quiet togetherness, brought closer to one another whether you actually knew the ppl around you or not because you would be together in your grief. Not so at all. It was, frankly, awkward and ppl's behavior ranged from the quiet, to the loud, but was for the most part normal. I couldn't decide how I felt about that. We were all here, feeling a bit awkward, in the way that large groups always seem to feel awkward when they're sharing various levels of the same emotion. No one seems to want to deal with the grief of others, so we're all carefully shallow in our interactions. That's bizarre and it felt very, very wrong. Then the pastor spoke about how we didn't get enough time with the deceased, how he was taken away too soon. I think he was trying to deal with the issue because the family was probably thinking that very thing, but it just felt like he was rubbing it in that this life was ended before it should have been. That felt wrong. That a man died and we spent an awkward hour commenmorating his death and then returned to the normality of everyday existance astounds me. The other thing that struck me was the eerie similarity between the ceremonies surrounding the major events in our lives. Baptisms, weddings, funerals...all share a lot of the same rituals and it freaked me out frankly.

Okay, on to happier musings. I spent three hours writing this morning. I had to take my bro and his friend to soccer practice at nine and pick them up at noon, so in the interim I went to a coffeehouse and sat outside in the shade and wrote. It felt wonderful and I got a tone done. I could be lazy the rest of the day and it would still feel like I've moved forward and accomplished something, although I'm not planning on being lazy (I've gotta work later, blah). Just wanted to share my elation.

Wishing you trials to make you stronger, love to make you sweeter, and time to experience both, -Katie

"When our eyes see our hands doing the work of our hearts, the circle of Creation is completed inside us, the doors of our souls fly open and love steps forth to heal everything in sight." - Michael Bridge